Disney/Florida Referendum: What The Results Mean For America
Universe Designation: U-4GWC-XNS9-K2HJ
Reporting Local Agent: H. Graham
Orlando, FL – In a shocking turn of events, the Walt Disney Company announced the formation of the "Magic Kingdom Party," declared independence from the state of Florida, and initiated a war against the Sunshine State. This unprecedented move comes as a direct response to Florida Governor Ron DeSantis' decision to strip Disney World of its tax-exempt status. Leading to a quickly escalating series of threats from either side, with a lawsuit first being levied by Disney at DeSantis. Who, in response, declared the newly minted Park-State "a bunch of treasonous cuck furry betas" in a public address, at which time he promised he would "dance on Mickey Mouse's grave", before violently decapitating a stuffed Mickey Mouse toy and performing a simulated sex act with it.
The Magic Kingdom Party, established within the newly sovereign nation of Disneytopia, claims to represent the values of imagination, innovation, and the pursuit of happiness. Its leadership consists of top Disney executives, including CEO Bob Iger, who now holds the title of Prime Mouseketeer of Disneytopia.
Disneytopia's Declaration of Independence cites the revocation of tax-exempt status as an infringement on the autonomy and financial stability of the Walt Disney World Resort. Disney representatives claim that the decision will severely affect the local economy, as the resort employs over 70,000 Floridians and attracts millions of visitors annually.
The newly formed nation has begun preparations for conflict, with an army of Disney Cast Members, Imagineers, and animatronic soldiers being assembled to wage war against Florida. Disneytopia has also announced the development of cutting-edge military technology based on its extensive research in robotics and entertainment.
In response to these actions, Governor DeSantis has declared a state of emergency and mobilized the Florida National Guard to defend against any potential attack. "We will not bow to the whims of a corporate power, no matter how magical," DeSantis stated in an emergency address to the people of Florida. The state of Florida will stand strong and protect its citizens."
Many Florida citizens have expressed mixed feelings about the situation. Some see Disney's actions as a justified response to the loss of tax-exempt status, while others view them as an extreme overreaction.
The United States government has yet to officially recognize Disneytopia's declaration of independence or its declaration of war. It remains unclear how the situation will unfold, but tensions are undoubtedly high as both sides prepare for the possibility of conflict.
In the meantime, Disneytopia has suspended all park operations, focusing all resources on the upcoming confrontation. The future of the iconic Walt Disney World Resort hangs in the balance, with visitors and employees eagerly awaiting this unprecedented situation's outcome.
Stay tuned for further updates on this developing story.
